Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Delusion of Perfection

I've spent the better part of a week trying to write this in my head to no avail.  I'm hoping that it will flow as I type so here goes.....

I've joked and made smart ass remarks about this illusion people have about homeschool moms.

Images of June Cleaver in heels and pearls with her infinite patience and spotless house.  Ideas of  perfectly well-behaved, genius children with spotless rooms, no laundry backed up, dinner on the table promptly at 5 and greeting your spouse with a freshly made up face, a brilliant smile and an already opened beer the moment (s)he walks through the door.

It is probably not that bad but you get the general gist.

I'm concerned about this seemingly widespread belief about homeschoolers.  I think it turns people away from homeschooling because they feel that they cannot keep up, sets ridiculous expectations for homeschooled children and causes some homeschooling moms to suffer in silence for fear of judgment.  You may think I am over exaggerating or being silly but the fact is I've seen examples of all of these on several occasions.

I think as homeschoolers we need to talk more about our struggles, our insecurities and our fears.  Sharing all the positives of homeschooling is wonderful because it shows that it works which is important but sharing the good, the bad and the ugly shows the truth and reality behind homeschooling.  

What is that truth?  For starters, it is that homeschooling is different for every family, that many homeschool children struggle with learning disabilities, mental disabilities, time management, particular subjects and are...dare I say.....AVERAGE!  Homeschooling parents are met with the many of the same challenges that teacher's are met with in a classroom....the difference, we do not have 20+ kids to deal with.  Another truth is that the majority of homeschool mom's are not June Cleaver 2.0.  We struggle with getting it all done, getting enough time to ourselves and with our spouse, we worry about money and some days we just want to pull out hair out!

I try to be honest about my struggles because I know how easy it is to get overwhelmed with this idea of perfection as you scan through blogs, Pinterest and Facebook.  

I want people to be able to come here and think, "Her life is crazy and she's still able to do it.  Maybe I should give it a go."  I want those who do not homeschool to stop grilling our children because they think they should know things far beyond their grade level and most importantly, I want that homeschool mom with three kids five and under who feels like she's drowning to be able to say, "I need help.  I need advice.  I need to vent." and receive the support she needs from her community.

Here's my reality for today, October 8, 2013.  I'm tired and my head hurts.  I thought today was the 7th until I looked at the computer.  The kids are up and I wished they had slept in longer.  Noah is already not listening.  We are missing gymnastics because the van needs new tires but Eric can never seem to get home before the place closes.  I have ton of laundry to do, my bedroom is a mess and all I really want to do is go back to bed.  The boys' room is a disaster zone!  We have people coming over today so I will have the kids help me make sure the common areas of the house are presentable and shut the laundry room door before they get here.   I can't even comment on the reality of my homeschooling day because it is different every single day. 

Do me a favor today....share your struggles as a homeschool mom or just as mom in general.  Do it here, on Facebook, in a homeschool group, on the phone...where ever.  You just may be the reason someone opens up and ask for help.

Have a wonderful day!


  1. Thank you for this :-)

  2. You said it, sister! I just love you.

  3. Very true! I have had a cough for going on 2 weeks now, I forgot to take out the trash last night, I forgot to print off some worksheets, I forgot to make a menu (basically I lost my mind this week). My house is in need of a deep cleaning since I haven't felt well for about 2 weeks. And I have a week and a half to organize a birthday party! lol We're real people too!

    1. I read this and thought, "I need to take the trash out!" and then still forgot. lol Hope everything comes together for you.

  4. Well today I had to rewash the towels because they were in the washing machine long enough to get funky. It rained on the comforter I forgot to bring in off the line yesterday. Burnt the bacon and today is my daughters long day for activities so we are skipping math because I don't want to deal with her math attitude. Tomorrow is another day. :)

    1. Totally understand. We are on a grammar melt-down induced break right now.